Some of those out there in Hurricane Nation are, like myself, parents. If you’re not, perhaps one day you hope to be. If you become a parent, you will unwittingly be subjected to programming tailored for toddlers at some point in your life. Because of this (and the fact that it is the off season and we have some down time), we figured we would list the most annoying characters on children’s television. This list is by no means definitive, we’re just trying to capture some of the pure, annoying sh-t that exists on kids’ TV. Let’s just say that the world would be a better place without the following:
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The duck from “Wonder Pets!” I think his name is Ming-Ming. Holy sh-t.
This mother f-cker is the whiniest piece of sh-t out there. He’s got this nasal twang that reminds me of a spoiled little Jewish girl. “This is sewious.” Any time he comes on TV, I switch the channel. Stay away from this show specifically because of this duck. I’m not a fan of duck soup, but if they made it with parts of Ming-Ming, I’d dig in.
This mother f-cker is the whiniest piece of sh-t out there. He’s got this nasal twang that reminds me of a spoiled little Jewish girl. “This is sewious.” Any time he comes on TV, I switch the channel. Stay away from this show specifically because of this duck. I’m not a fan of duck soup, but if they made it with parts of Ming-Ming, I’d dig in.-
“Barney and Friends” This might not be what you think. You know, I don’t mind Barney that much. Yeah, he’s big and purple and goofy, but he’s there to entertain kids so you gotta expect that kind of crap. No, what really 
annoys the f-ck out of me isn’t Barney. It’s the kids. The mother f’n kids, man. I don’t know who taught these f-ckers to act, but to say they’re overacting is like saying Perez Hilton is kinda into dudes. Jeezuss Christ. First, you have the fat Mexican chick. I don’t know how you get into the morbidly obese category at age 5, but this chick somehow managed to do it. And she always has this sh-t eating grin on her face I wanna wipe off. But, she doesn’t take the cake. No, that goes to the mother f-cking blonde boy with the hearing aid. Oh my God. If I ever see this f-cker on the street, I swear, I’m gonna rip out that hearing aid and choke that sumbitch with it til he turns blue. I cannot think of a more annoying human being. And don’t give me this hearing aid sh-t. If that thing works half a lick, he can hear how annoying he sounds.
annoys the f-ck out of me isn’t Barney. It’s the kids. The mother f’n kids, man. I don’t know who taught these f-ckers to act, but to say they’re overacting is like saying Perez Hilton is kinda into dudes. Jeezuss Christ. First, you have the fat Mexican chick. I don’t know how you get into the morbidly obese category at age 5, but this chick somehow managed to do it. And she always has this sh-t eating grin on her face I wanna wipe off. But, she doesn’t take the cake. No, that goes to the mother f-cking blonde boy with the hearing aid. Oh my God. If I ever see this f-cker on the street, I swear, I’m gonna rip out that hearing aid and choke that sumbitch with it til he turns blue. I cannot think of a more annoying human being. And don’t give me this hearing aid sh-t. If that thing works half a lick, he can hear how annoying he sounds.-
The white guy from ‘The Fresh Beat Band’ F-ck this guy. You know the type…white guy trying to beat box and break dance and hop around like
he’s on crystal meth. I try not to dislike people until I meet them, but I’ve made an exception for this waste of sperm. Dude’s probably in his 20s – a grown man – and is hoppin around and usin the phrase ‘wiggity wiggity whack.’ I mean, look at this f’n picture. Sorry, but you’re not the second coming of Jam Master Jay. If this guy hung himself with a makeshift noose made from the yellow sweatshirt he always wears, I would not be unhappy.
he’s on crystal meth. I try not to dislike people until I meet them, but I’ve made an exception for this waste of sperm. Dude’s probably in his 20s – a grown man – and is hoppin around and usin the phrase ‘wiggity wiggity whack.’ I mean, look at this f’n picture. Sorry, but you’re not the second coming of Jam Master Jay. If this guy hung himself with a makeshift noose made from the yellow sweatshirt he always wears, I would not be unhappy.-
“Caillou” F-cking Caillou. Don’t ever watch this show. It’s about this whiny ass bald kid who complains about EVERYTHING. Literally. “Mommy, why is 
the fire truck so loud?” “Mommy, why is the sun so bright?” “Mommy, why is this guy in a Hurricanes t-shirt coming at me with an axe?” Jeezuss, they made this kid out to be the most annoying piece of sh-t I’ve met in my life. It’s so bad that I can’t even watch a promo for it, let alone the show. If I meet anyone involved with this show…the producer, a writer – hell, the key grip, I’m bustin out my nunchucks.
the fire truck so loud?” “Mommy, why is the sun so bright?” “Mommy, why is this guy in a Hurricanes t-shirt coming at me with an axe?” Jeezuss, they made this kid out to be the most annoying piece of sh-t I’ve met in my life. It’s so bad that I can’t even watch a promo for it, let alone the show. If I meet anyone involved with this show…the producer, a writer – hell, the key grip, I’m bustin out my nunchucks.-
So there you have it. A slightly vitriol-filled look at the most annoying characters on kids’ television. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Dont forget that goofy mofo from Yo Gabba Gabba.
i hate yo gabba gabba!!!!!! fortunately for me,…my toddler girls are into spiderman and ironman and the avengers! kinda makes up for not having boys.
Do humanity a favor and do not ever reproduce. Any good parent who loves their kids knows it’s not all about you… You watch what they want because it makes them happy… If you don’t like it then oh well just be an adult and get over yourself. And if you do have kids I seriously feel bad for having a parent that is as much of a jackass as you act…
Not impressed should change his name to Not Have a Sense of Humor. If you take any of this seriously (or as Ming Ming says ‘sewiously’) you must be a Gator fan.