The Hurricanes, The Internet, and Misplaced Fingers
After a year of this site being up, I have learned one thing above all….and that is: that the Internet is a sick, sick place. The veil of anonymity allows for some wretched displays of human behavior. And I’m not even talking about the racist and homophobic comments made on message boards, blogs, and YouTube Comments sections. I’m talkin porn.
Ah, pornography. Was just a tiny subsection of society in the VHS days of the 80s. With the advent of the Internet, though, it ushered in a whole new genre and awareness of the filthy things people do behind closed doors. If I had a dollar for every bestiality clip I was forwarded in college, I’d be a rich man. But, those clips are old hat. You can’t shock this generation with a clip of some German chick eatin some guy’s poo or felating a horse. You gotta ratchet it up a notch and go ’2 Girls, 1 Cup’-style if you wanna get recognized.
Which brings me to this site. During the offseason, we were at a loss for Hurricanes news, so I decided to write about the time I peed blood and went to the doctor and the next thing I knew a nurse was shoving her finger up my ass. I know, not Pulitzer worthy stuff, but surprisingly it was one of our more popular stories. Everyone loves a good finger-up-the-ass story, I guess.
Now, as owners of the site, we are privy to certain information about our visitors. Not much (don’t worry, we’re not stealing your identity), but we can tell how people arrive at the site. Once in a while, I’ll check it out. Mostly it’s from Google searches, from CanesTime links, and other miscellaneous sites like Yardbarker. It was shortly after we posted the finger-up-my-ass story that I noticed that a small portion of our visitors were not your typical Canes fans.
I guess having the keywords ‘shoved’ ‘finger’ ‘ass’ in our story’s title caused our site to be listed among certain Google search results. Below is a sampling of the Google searches that brought some visitors to CanesPundit.com:
‘fingers shoved in ass’
‘how to penetrate my finger into my ass’
‘dig up my butthole’
Nice. That is just the target audience we are seeking. I’m not big into Google search analytics, but I think they probably weren’t looking for an update on Jacory’s TD-INT ratio. ‘fingers shoved in ass’? Like, multiple fingers? That’s strong. I like the dude (or female) who Googled ‘how to penetrate my finger into my ass.’ Like there’s a manual on the Internet somewhere (first, insert index finger to the second knuckle. Then, proceed with force until buried to the third knuckle. Exhale, and enjoy.) ‘dig up my butthole’ is just weird.
I’m not sure what else comes up when these phrases are Googled, but I am proud to know that CanesPundit.com is one of the sites.
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